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It reared its ugly head again the other day. And unfortunately it usually seems to be the Collingwood Football Club which gets popularly reported in the media.

One of its players committed some sort of transgression (well there’s a surprise). And the punishment? Doing a set number of hours community service.

DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE IS NOT A PUNISHMENT!

Before all the rabid Collingwood supporters start having a crack at me, I know you’re not the only ones. It involves other sporting clubs and it involves other parts of the community. This story in Time is a good discussion of the issue.

I guess my point is that footballers and other highly paid sports people should feel privileged to be so highly paid for what they do, i.e. play a game. It’s about time they started appreciating that and helping the community by default, without being forced to do it whenever they’re pissed or exposing themselves in public, which seems to be the crimes of choice.

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They’re Just Umpires

Hey Tim Lane, Stephen Quartermaine and Robert Walls (you especially Robert). And all of your colleagues who are radio and television commentators.

The bloke on the left here is Ray Chamberlain. Or Umpire Chamberlain would probably be better. His name is not Razor Ray. Nor is his name Ray. Well, it is, I suppose, but I don’t often hear you referring to Nick or Nick or Nick. It’s usually (Nick) Riewoldt or (Nick) Dal Santo or (Nick) Maxwell.

Brett Rosebury profile

Equally, the guy on the right is Brett Rosebury. He’s one of our better umpires, certainly better than the previously mentioned Ray Chamberlain. His name is not The Umpire.

Can you and all your commentator mates start treating them the same and stop trying to elevate some of them onto pedestals in the same way that we expect you to with the players please.

They are just umpires and you are contributing to the situation where some of them seem to think that they, rather than the players are what people go to see on a weekly basis.

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I dislike Mick Malthouse, the current coach of the Collingwood football side. I dislike Collingwood too, but I’m not in the minority there.

People have claimed I don’t like Malthouse because he’s associated with Collingwood. NOT TRUE! Did you hear that AN (you know who you are)? It’s not true.

I dislike Malthouse because I think he’s a goose. In most press interviews he does, he’ll try and do something quirky to make us think he’s some sort of comedic genius. Not surprisingly, he’s not recognised as such. I’ve never seen his posters up in lights for the Comedy Festival.

I also dislike him because he lacks credibility. Last year, he was accused of calling St Kilda player, Stephen Milne, a rapist. It was actually worse than that, but I’ll spare you the profanity. Malthouse publicly denied the accusation.

And before I go any further, don’t bother coming back at me because Milne is a St Kilda player. It would be the same if it was Fred Blogs from Geelong or Artie Pharnarkle from Fremantle.

It was only when the overwhelming evidence came forth that it was exactly what Malthouse had called Milne that he came out and apologised to him. Where’s your credibility, Mick?

So it was no surprise to find out that Malthouse, while commentating on radio, has accused a player of blatant cheating when he falsely claimed to have scored a goal that was kicked through by an opposition player.

You know what, Mick? What you should have said was “I decline to comment because I have no credibility, as I demonstrated when my side played St Kilda last year”. You are the last person who should be calling someone a cheat!

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St Kilda–That Was Crap

Angry? You bet I’m angry? I, and about 38,500 others who part with a chunk of money each year for our St Kilda memberships, deserve better than the crap that was dished up against Hawthorn at the MCG this afternoon.

I always like to approach things positively though, so with the intent of helping the coaching staff, below is an assessment of the 22 players today and what the club should do with each of them.

Jason Gram (1) – probably one of the least skilful players in the game. Bullock through and kick the thing blindly isn’t really the way the game’s played these days – TIME TO GO.

Aaron Siposs (2) – the single positive that came out of the game – a great debut. But at 189 and 82, he’s only ever going to be a small forward who needs bigger ones around him – KEEP.

Jack Steven (3) – small and slow – needs a trick and he hasn’t got one – has only managed 14 games since 2009 – TIME TO GO.

Clint Jones (4) – if you accept that every side has to have a tagger, then he is St Kilda’s tagger. Can really only be played in that role – does not have the skills to play elsewhere – KEEP.

Ben McEvoy (5) – useless. Would struggle to be the third ruckman at any other club. Didn’t win a tap all day and got outmarked by a Hawthorn rover – TIME TO GO.

Zac Dawson (6) – absolute dud. Hawthorn must have thought it was Christmas when someone agreed to take him. Is it so freaking hard to play the ball and not the man all the time? – TIME TO GO.

Steven Baker (10) – has been a loyal club servant, but is now too slow, has always been too short and there’s always a danger he’s going to knuckle someone again – TIME TO GO.

Nick Riewoldt (12) – magnificent athlete who is having to carry too much responsibility at the moment. The club deserves a lot better consistency in front of goals than what he provides – KEEP.

Adam Schneider (13) – good, reliable (except in grand finals) goal sneak, but you’re not going to build an offence around him. Only has a left foot – how do AFL players these days get away with only having one foot? – KEEP.

Brendon Goddard (18) – needs to change his attitude. Clearly has shit on liver about something and is getting paid way too much money based on the return we’re getting at the moment. Don’t we have any sport psychologists at the club? – KEEP.

Sam Gilbert (19) – one of the key participants in the dramas in the off season, thus owes the club big time. Hasn’t repaid that debt and continues to demonstrate appalling decision making on the field. Gold Coast could probably use another playboy – TIME TO GO.

David Armitage (20) – just a player – KEEP.

Farren Ray (22) – despite limited skills has been fantastic for the club since he came over from Footscray – KEEP.

Justin Koschitzke (23) – would have to be the most useless lump that has ever pulled on a jumper for St Kilda. Seriously, why does he get so much support at the club? With two prolapsed disks and playing from my bed, I could get more kicks at centre half forward than this clown. A complete dud – TIME TO GO.

Sean Dempster (24) – has not played a decent game for St Kilda since he arrived – TIME TO GO.

Sam Fisher (25) – the rock of the back line. I hate to think what the final score would have been against Hawthorn if he wasn’t there – KEEP.

Nick Dal Santo (26) – another one who needs to stop sulking and start paying back. Another one with only a left foot – KEEP.

Andrew McQualter (32) – 90 mediocre games at best. Too short. Too light. What’s the value add? – TIME TO GO.

James Gwilt (33) – one of the success stories from 2010 – he and Fisher are the heart and soul of the backline – KEEP.

Dean Polo (34) – first game for St Kilda – was OK in the first half and unsighted in the second. Deserves a chance to prove himself, but it’s hard to believe an offcast from Richmond is going to be your next champion – KEEP.

Jamie Cripps (35) – Who? Fourth game today – another one who’s too light and too short. Seems to be a trend unfortunately. Needs to be given a chance – KEEP.

Stephen Milne (44) – does not deserve the crap that gets hurled at him by opposition supporters week after week. One of the most successful goal sneaks in the competition, but could be twice as good if he positioned himself front and square at Riewoldt’s feet – KEEP.

And of those that didn’t play today, you can add Jason Blake (unfortunately – great club servant), Ryan Gamble, Michael Gardiner, Brett Peake (another one footer) and Raph Clarke to the list of people to go.

So there’s my response. Time to put the knife through the list and get rid of 14 of them. Let’s see what mealy mouthed response we get from Ross Lyon.

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The Saints and the Hawks will once again battle for the annual Blue Ribbon Cup when the two teams meet in Round 8 at the MCG on Sunday. The Blue Ribbon Cup was established in 1999 in memory of two Victoria Police officers Sergeant Gary Silk, a Hawthorn member and Senior Constable Rodney Miller, a Richmond supporter who were killed in the line of duty at Moorabbin in August 1998. The St Kilda Football Club supports the Blue Ribbon Cup as the officers lost their lives in the line of duty in Moorabbin. (from the St Kilda F C members’ newsletter)

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Oddball Radio

I had to listen to the footy (St Kilda v Carlton) on the radio tonight, having not had to do that for a while. The choices were:
. Drivel M (MMM)
. Red Neck Radio (3AW)
. Tobin Brothers (ABC)
. Blokes Radio (SEN)

I went with Blokes, with two legendary footballers – Dermot Brereton and Kevin Bartlett. Pretty painful commentators though. With Dermie, the game is constantly over-analyzed and it’s all crap. Also, I have never heard anyone destroy the English language like he does.

KB commentates in the usual pigheaded way he played the game – he’s never wrong. I do agree with him though, on this bizarre situation that happens in football all the time now. Why the hell does someone who has just scored a goal get dragged off the ground for a break? Both the player and the team are on a high after the goal – take advantage of it for goodness sake!

The comment of the night was from KB – “Never get your ambitions mixed up with your capabilities, Dermot”. I think he borrowed it from Casey Stoner though.

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Some of my happiest days watching VFL / AFL football have been when Tony Lockett was kicking bags of goals at Moorabbin. Those great memories make it easy to ignore all the bad things he did there as well.

So it was fantastic to find out that he was elevated to Legend status at the Hall of Fame Dinner last night. I seriously thought about going to the dinner – damn, I now wish I did.

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